Reverse Jake: > Pounce boyfriend.

[fightingcargos]

[You never thought you would be the kind of fella who would stand idly by while someone beat the crap out of your heart's darling. Turns out, you're not! You're the kind of fella who beats the crap out of said darling himself.]

[You leap into Dirk's personal space, guns ablaze, and attempt to make up for his superior speed with your superior firepower.]

Take THAT you studmuffin!!

Comments

[fightingcargos]

Aww. Cheesepuff.
Should i get a blanket? It might feel cold soon.

[sickheartbeats]

Actually no.
We'll just ruin the blanket with our crusty man juices.
I'm taking a shower soon.
You could probably use one, yourself.

[fightingcargos]

You do have a point.

[You pat him on the head.]

You first then! You must be dying for one.

[sickheartbeats]

Would I be getting my chill on in your lap if I were that desperate?
I am facing a legitimate internal conflict here.
It's your company versus a whole shitload of hot pressurized water, Jake.
Post-coital banter against smelling nice again.
Watching you smile your face off against fixing my hair.
And trust me, I know my hair is doing something weird.
I can almost feel it.
The fucks I don't give right now are almost directly proportional to the increasing fucks I give about you.

[fightingcargos]

[That is a little too flattering to process. You blame your sex-induced fatigue for your limited brainpower.]

...Oh.

[sickheartbeats]

Yeah.
So.

[THE POINT you weren't actually trying to make is out there like fucking swimwear. You ponder whether he needs you to clarify even further, and then decide against it. All you need is a little more time. You don't want to GIVE HIM HOPE and then take it away. You don't HAVE THE HEART to ever do that to him.]

That is exactly why you're coming with me.

[fightingcargos]

Wait. To the shower??

[sickheartbeats]

Yes.
I've made this mess of you.
Might even call it my responsibility to make sure you get out of this matter squeaky clean.

[fightingcargos]

...Well.
Dont mind if i do my man!
I can help you wash your hair. It looks like it might be a two man job at this point.

[sickheartbeats]

Wow, harsh.

[fightingcargos]

Its like a sculpture dirk. A work of modern art.
I dont understand it but i like it.

[sickheartbeats]

I've heard enough.
Let's get a move on.

[fightingcargos]

[You sit up as he stands, meaning to follow him into the bathroom. You look forward to ENJOYING THE VIEW.]

[sickheartbeats]

[Whether you know what he's up to or not, you LEAD THE WAY, pointlessly running your fingers through your hair as a last form of damage evaluation before reparations.

When you enter the bathroom that consists TWO THIRDS OF PURE ABLUTION HEAVEN, you can't help but think that you built it perfectly for this kind of situation. You'd commend yourself on your foresight, but are left to wonder if there's a part of your subconscious that has always planned to feel Jake up in the shower.

Alright, enough. Get the water running.]

[fightingcargos]

God you have so much bath stuff.
What does this one do?

[sickheartbeats]

Scrub off dead skin tissue to leave you soft as a baby's flabby, pampered butt.
Also support surface blood circulation.
This really isn't that much stuff.

[fightingcargos]

This is a LOT of stuff.
What does the blue one do?

[sickheartbeats]

Smell artificially of the ocean and fresh tidal waves.
It was a bad investment, honestly.

[You grab two towels and throw them on the space heater, knowing they'll be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT when you're done.]

[fightingcargos]

[You investigate the bottles by systematically opening them and SNIFFING THE CONTENTS. The pink one makes you sneeze.]

[sickheartbeats]

[You try to bring yourself to think that he isn't kind of cute.

You mostly think that he is being fairly cute.]

[fightingcargos]

Wow thats a small bottle. What could this even do?

[You examine it closer and realize that you have made a horrible mistake.]

Jake: > Put the lube back down.

[sickheartbeats]

Dirk: > Don't even blink.

[You don't. You do, however, look distantly amused with your boyfriend.]

Getting the family size jug for tentative experimentation seemed like jumping the gun.

[fightingcargos]

Oh.
Yes that follows.
Cost effectiveness and... and stuff.

[sickheartbeats]

And stuff.
Are you gonna get in?
Or should I get started without you?

[fightingcargos]

As much as watching you appeals to me...

Jake: > Enter shower.